September 2011
10 posts
“I could do all kinds of good feeling things to your vagina.”
—an actual thing that an actual human male actually said to me last night.
“I eat oatmeal in the morning and wonder how many mornings I will eat oatmeal. I wonder how many mornings it will be until I am serving oatmeal to my children. Three minutes ago I was in kindergarten, following plastic footprints of the imaginary classroom leprechaun. I have sixty seconds until i graduate. When I microwave water and press the faded white buttons for a minute-forty-five, I realize that two minutes are slipping away. Then nine minutes. And then I get my degree and marry some boy and I am scooping sand up off the beach with my fingers wide open and everything is slipping through. You can’t hold on to anything for longer than it is happening. Nineteen minutes from now I am going to die. And in the next millisecond, nothing will matter. Not a thing.”
—(via emmaiocovozzi)
I fell in love with a guy at Urban Outfitters the other day but he was with his girlfriend and it’s not like I even know who the fuck he is or anything, so I left thinking I’d never see him again.
But when I was in the produce section of my local grocery store today, I saw him stocking bananas and realized that DUH it’s fate. I went over to the banana stand and said, “Oh do you have more bananas? ‘Cause these ones are looking pretty rough.” Except I think it came out more like, “Oh grarblesfighuhdfgkj” because he said, “Excuse me?” and so then we just stared at each other until I grabbed the first bunch of bananas I saw and ran away.
Later I went back to the produce section and I was pushing my cart away, he was walking right behind me and the song playing on the speakers was “Almost Lover”.
WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK ABOUT THAT?
