March 2011
37 posts
things I bought at the grocery store today:
- cereal
- milk
- eggs
- pasta
- bread
- peanut butter
- jelly
- avocados
- salsa
- chips
- wine
things my roommate bought at the grocery store today:
- tapioca pudding
- wine
- tampons
I just thought about middle-aged women who wear clip-on earrings and got so sad.
if i got paid every time i farted,
i definitely would not need a second job. or any other job at all. i would be so rich.
I’ve spent the whole day with my parents, who were married for 16 years and have now been divorced for 13. We went shopping and out to dinner and I got a taste of what it would be like to have parents that were married. I don’t think I like it. My mom keeps drinking because she’s nervous and now they’re arguing about things from their marriage. My dad just said his dick is a shining beacon. I think I’m going to go to bed now.
“Like, I wanna lose weight. But I also just wanna eat like, a lot of pizza.”
—the eternal struggle
When I was a small child and I had a crush on a boy, I used to either hide under a table from them or try and physically hurt them as much as I could.
I can’t say that much has changed.
You look like Marilyn Monroe a little bit.
A guy bought my Nicki Minaj lipstick on ebay and I forgot to send it because I am the worst and because I didn’t have any packing tape and now he’s messaging me about it and I feel so bad because it’s his birthday on Wednesday and he wanted to have it by then. But I also feel guilty because well, he’s a boy and he ordered lipstick and I feel bad about my ignorance and my conservative views re: boys wearing lipstick. (I’m overnighting it first thing tomorrow)
