February 2011
34 posts
I’m catching up (via Facebook) with a girl I was good friends with Freshman year of college. She got a tattoo. It’s an Audrey Hepburn quote. No wonder we aren’t friends anymore.
“Why the fuck don’t you know how to do anything or spell words?”
—Me, to all children
Did I tell you guys about how I bought my sister’s birthday cake from the girl whose boyfriend cheated on her with me, the other day?
Jesus H. I wish someone would hit me in the head with a 2 by 4. I just found the twitter of an old love and I have tears in my eyes because he’s so great and his tweets made me LOL and it’s really hard to get me to actually LOL. Fuck.
more chat with mom
- Me: You don't even know what I'm majoring in!
- Mom: Yeah, I do!
- Me: What is it then?
- Mom: Being an ungrateful daughter!
A Chat with Mom
- Me: Well my friend Andrew lives on Long Island
- Mom: Who's Andrew??
- Me: Andrew Kornfeld
- Mom: Oh do you only talk to him on the internet?
- Me: Yeah...
- Mom: You need to be careful.
- Me: No Mom, it's like a thing people do now. I met Will from the internet.
- Mom: Yeah, well you're lucky to be alive.
me talking to a cute boy:
