I'm laying upside down on a recliner. I don't know how to get out.
Welp. I got out and now I’m bleeding.
Whilst cleaning out my "Junk" folder in my documents, I stumbled upon a word document entitled, "junk".
All it said was, “You can’t honestly tell me you think bologna should be spelled that way”.
Soon to be a famous first line, you guys.
- Mary: A text from last night says "I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once" it reminded me of you
- Me: Oh my gosh I was going to put that on your wall but thought you would be embarrassed